You Just Never Know

We interact with people everyday - at the grocery store, school, work and so on.  We exchange "hellos" and smile, ask how each other is doing and go about our business.  For the most part we have no idea what is going on in a person's life. Usually there is a reason someone is tired or not smiling and it may not be as simple as we think it is.   We don't know if they are suffering from depression, bi-polar or anxiety.  We don't know if they lost a child or a spouse to an accident or a devastating disease.  They may have lost their house or fishing boat due to lack of money, have lost their job or can't work anymore due to physical pain but they don't qualify for disability or unemployment.  They may be overwhelmed with bills they can't pay, lacking a roof over their head or dealing with being hit and screamed at everyday until they feel like the piece of shit they are told they are.  Some folks know they need to make life changes, sell their house, lobster boat, car - but noone is buying and this is not an immediate fix when there isn't any food in the house or cmp is calling again to shut off the power.  These stories are part of my daily job.  I try to connect folks with resources, advocate for them, do what I can.  While there are lots of positive stories and glimmers of hope, often times there are not quick fixes or any way to fix it at all.  These are the stories that bring me down, make me lose faith in humanity and leave me feeling sad, wondering what the hell our society is doing.  I truly believe most people don't understand what others actually go through on a daily basis.

  The once vibrant Mom is worn down after losing her job to a company that downsized and the only work she can find is at $8.50/hr - her teenagers are not getting Christmas presents this year because she had to buy oil.  There isn't any child support because Dad is unemployed, depressed and turned to drugs, readily available anywhere he goes, he does not have a drivers license because he hasn't paid his child support and his truck has broken down so even if he did have his license he couldn't drive anyway.

 Then there's the 90 yr old woman still living on her own without any family to help.  Social security "forgot" to review her for 15 yrs and has now set a deadline for her to show proof of income from VA, a small feat to some but a giant leap for her in this day and age of "press one now" and sitting on hold for 30 minutes to speak to a human being.  If she doesn't get her paperwork in by the deadline she was given her income stops.

The family living in a rundown mobile home (that should be condemned) that doesn't hold heat so the LIHEAP money they get every winter goes right out the roof - which has lots of tarps on it but still leaks everytime it rains, filling the light fixtures with water.  Snakes have infested the ceiling, hanging over the bed of Mom and Dad everynight 'causing Mom's anxiety to skyrocket, preventing her from sleeping which adds to her depression so just getting out of bed every morning is a chore.  Noone will touch the house, every agency state and nationwide has been contacted including the mobile home replacement program.  They qualified for it in every aspect except the year of the trailer - has to be pre 1976 and theirs isn't.  They still owe money on the land so they can't move and their credit is so bad they can't get a loan.  The children are teased daily at school for their living conditions.

The Dad that is disabled but so far hasn't qualified for disability and continusouly gets turned down by General Assistance.  His electricity has been turned off 4 times this past year because he hasn't had the money to pay it.  In the winter he and his son live in the living room/kitchen part of the mobile home because it is the only place with heat - when he can borrow money to buy fuel.  He hasn't been able to hold down a job since a major car accident that caused head trauma, which led to prescription pain addiction and years of trying to come clean.

The middle aged woman that looks elderly due to years of hardwork, smoking and PTSD.  Self-employed she has no healthcare and doesn't qualify for Medicaid.  An infection in her tooth spreads through her body leading to kidney failure, an ambulance ride and a week at Maine Med.  She is sent home to recouperate and the bills start pouring in.  Noone mentioned Freecare and that she would qualify.  $65,000 in bills later she becomes overwhelmed, stops opening her mail, answering her phone and becomes a recluse preparing to die.

The alcoholic that was an amazing teacher for over 20 years and lost her job when the school closed.  She began to drink more, met what she thought was a wonderful man and lived the next 12 years being beaten so badly she was hospitalized numerous times and didn't own one piece of furniture that wasn't broken.  Court let him off the attempted murder and he moved onto his next victim.  She was diagnosed with cancer.

The young mentally ill man that lives off of disability due to multiple diagnoses.  He wants so badly to blend in with society, hold down a job and be self sufficient.  He calls the crisis line everynight, has been hospitalized 6 times in the past year, cuts himself to soothe and threatens a police officer trying to help.

On and on it goes, people trying to live their everyday lives.  You stand behind them at the convienent store, see them walking in the rain to get where they need to go or in church on Sunday where you pray for others.  Remember each one of us is on a journey and it isn't always good or easy.  I ask that this holiday season you truly think of others - little gestures to others really do have an impact.  That door you just held open for someone could have been the nicest thing that happened to them all day. 

Peace