Life is always changing - this I know. I'm a sagitarius, we thrive on change - hence why I'm always moving things around in the house. My last blog was done in the summer and I was feeling carefree, in the moment and happy . . . ready to take on whatever life wanted to challenge me with. Well, I love fall - the colors, temperatures and smells but this one has been extremely stressful. Unfortunately I, once again, have turned to food, emotionally eaten my way through it and am now facing my wardrobe each morning wondering what in the hell I am going to wear to work. Halfway through my eating journey I stopped myself, joined a gym and went for 3 weeks after work, relieving stress and losing a smidgen of weight. Until I got sick, then hubby got sick, then the kids and I baled on myself once again and turned to my old habit of food therapy. Needless to say, it is hard to have an optimistic outlook on life feeling so shitty about one self.
After a looooong month off, Jason is back to work at the new restaurant, working 5 nights a week. The kids spent the entire month of September being cared for mostly by Dad - packing lunches, getting the kids off to school, picking them up, etc. Now with him working late nights I am the one doing the majority, rearranging my schedule and adding in my parents for back-up. We are only 1 week into this. Most of the 14 yrs we have been together have been him working nights so there is some familiarity. It just gets harder the older the kids get. I do know it will get easier. I start back at the gym tomorrow which will get me back on track not only physically but especially mentally. The kids have been breaking down, throwing temper tantrums over things I'd never imagine them to. They miss their Daddy, their cats that had to be given away,school started, they've been sick, the full harvest moon, their own bedrooms . . . the list goes on and on. Patience and communication have been our tools (and patience is definitely my best attribute ;P)
Working on myself in turn shows them how to deal with stress in a healthy way - but that is not always something I'm good at.
So life changes have lead to a rocky transition. Miss S wants her Daddy home, her Haley cat back, and to share a bedroom with her brother again. If I can't fix these things then "she is gonna find another home" or "not love me anymore" yet I can't use the bathroom or leave a room without her attached to my hip (I really love the phrase "up my ass" but was trying to sound . . . um . . . nicer?). Mr. B is all over the board. He's throwing tantrums and crying fits over the smallest things -as well as maturing into a little boy that is beginning to worry about looking cool and doing the right thing. Everyone is trying to reassure me that this is all because of the full moon. Could be - maybe on top of transition this is just one big crazy lunar stress disaster?!
With all we've been through it will be nice to settle into some sort of consistent routine that lasts more than a month. I'm hoping the winter will bring that for us. If I can get myself back on track as the organized Matriarch of this household everything else will start to fall into place. We'll pull through, we always do.
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